


on the nights you feel outnumbered

by starbboy



Series: JayKyle Week 2020 [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Green Lantern - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Blue Lantern Jason Todd, Hurt/Comfort, JayKyle Week (DCU), M/M, jason and the bats don't get on super well in this, no beta we die like jason todd, not the main focus but its there, they're only mentioned but they are the reason he's upset so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26895838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbboy/pseuds/starbboy
Summary: “Hey.” Kyle says, soft in a jarringly different way to how Jason’s been reassured before. There’s no hesitation in the way he speaks, nothing in his voice that gives off the aura of dealing with a wounded, but still feral, unpredictable animal that Jason has dealt with before. It’s surprising, ironically makes the old, hardened paranoia curled around his stomach prick up on edge, but at the same time it’s soothing, welcome and calming.Sometimes Guy’s fond little offhand comment about him being ‘more of a paradox than most’ makes sense.
Relationships: Kyle Rayner/Jason Todd
Series: JayKyle Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954192
Comments: 6
Kudos: 138





	on the nights you feel outnumbered

**Author's Note:**

> **Day 5:** ~~Overprotective~~ **|** **Hurt/Comfort**
> 
> yeah this one is small and pretty plotless, i just wanted to do this extra prompt.  
> enjoy :)

It’s stupid. Jason knows it’s stupid, he knows it’s partially his fault. He should have been the better person; he shouldn’t have goaded them. There isn’t really any excuse.

But he was angry. He was angry and tired and slowly getting over the realisation that maybe the dynamics he’d been living with for years hadn’t been healthy or productive or deserved and he lost it. Guy says repression isn’t healthy and maybe screaming matches with your former father figure aren’t either, but Jason didn’t particularly feel like he could hold his anger in. He never really does.

So, he yelled and got yelled at and almost cried but managed to hide it and now he’s flying off aimlessly after having taken off abruptly, low to the ground with his blue aura dim as he fumes.

He’s allowed to be angry; he tells himself when the self-doubt and guilt start clawing at him inside. He’s allowed to be angry and he shouldn’t have to feel bad or completely to blame. He’s been getting better at internalising that recently.

After a while, some great exhaustiveness creeps over him as he continues to think about it, the kind that makes the skin next to his finger itch and all the asymmetry of his body too noticeable as he moves like he’s trudging through honey.

Who knew that fighting with people you cared about (still care about, but maybe a bit less so) could be so draining huh? Usually Jason sulks for a while and goes to sleep, maybe goes on patrol and lets out his anger that way, this overwhelming tiredness is kind of new. Maybe it’s easier to notice, now that he’s working on getting out of his repressive habits and be more in touch with his emotions or whatever, he muses, settling down on the roof of some building.

He’s not exactly sure where he is, but he knows it’s not Gotham and that’s all he cares about right now.

His actions are directionless, he doesn’t exactly know what to do, caught between actually trying to think over everything and potentially risk more depressing realisations about the Bats or ignoring it and flying to the nearest safe house, leaving it to bubble and explode later.

He’s an intergalactic representative of hope not rage, he doesn’t need to hold on to those feelings. But at the same time, he’s just. So Tired.

So, he just sits there.

And that’s how Kyle finds him later (he’s not sure how much later), sitting crossed legged on a roof, entertaining himself with weak constructs as he looks down blankly.

“Hey.” Kyle says, soft in a jarringly different way to how Jason’s been reassured before. There’s no hesitation in the way he speaks, nothing in his voice that gives off the aura of dealing with a wounded, but still feral, unpredictable animal that Jason has dealt with before. It’s surprising, ironically makes the old, hardened paranoia curled around his stomach prick up on edge, but at the same time it’s soothing, welcome and calming. 

Sometimes Guy’s fond little offhand comment about him being ‘more of a paradox than most’ makes sense.

Kyle floats softly down next to him, not expectant, but worried and curious.

“You heard about it.”

“Yeah. For being a closed off group of detectives, gossip about your family sure spreads fast. Bats was grouching about it in the Watchtower”

“Don’t call-” Jason corrects quickly. “They’re not my family. Apart from Bruce and Alfred a long time ago, they never really were.”

“Okay. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” And it is, for someone best known for their grudges and revenge plan, Jason finds it amazingly easy to forgive Kyle.

“You’re alright though?”

“Yeah, I will be. It wasn’t the worst I’ve gotten. I held my ground.” And at that Kyle frowns, shuffling closer to sling his legs over Jason’s and tangle his fingers in Jason’s hair. The blue aura around him glows a little brighter.

No comment is made after that, although Jason can tell if Kyle is angry, if the small pout on his face and few kisses to his temple are anything to go by. It’s reassuring, in a way that settles as warmth in his chest, that someone else is pissed off by what happened. Logically he knows Kyle would have been angry, the rest of the Lanterns too - it’s just hard to remember sometimes. And in some weird, odd way the fact that it’s Kyle means more.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Comes eventually, once they’ve shifted to inhabiting each other’s space in a way that would be obnoxious with anyone else around.

Jason sighs and tucks his head into Kyle’s shoulder, then he sighs again and looks up at his boyfriend. (A distracted part of his brain comments that Kyle looks beautiful, green glow against the darkening sky.)

“I don’t know.” Jason pauses and Kyle looks down, comforting, loving, nothing more. “I don’t know Ky. ‘Cause I always knew the Bat dynamics were fucked up, but like I’m only just realising what that means y’know? This helped,” He says, holding up his ring hand. “And so did you guys but it pisses me off.”

Kyle squeezes his arm gently; god Jason loves him.

“I’m pissed off that it’s happening and I’m pissed off that I let it happen and I’m pissed off that I’ll continue to let it happen, cause I care about them. And I’m allowed to be pissed right?” Kyle hums in unwavering agreement, “But every time I’m pissed, I fit into the stupid little box they created for me, of the angry robin who went and got himself killed and I don’t want that. I’m tired, Ky. I’m tired of how tired they make me.”

Kyle kisses his hair again and again and then Jason leans up to kiss him properly, closing his eyes as Kyle kisses him softly but fiercely. Hands flitting between his shoulders and cheeks and the nape of his neck.

“They’re still surprised, wary - I don’t know - about the whole Blue Lantern thing - like someone like me being accepted by the Corps of Hope is unimaginable. It rubs me the wrong way.”

“They say that? Out loud?”

“The brat makes a couple comments but no, more implied - mostly B anyway. I don’t-” He jerks suddenly and Kyle grabs his hands, kissing the gloved knuckles, “I don’t know where I was going with this. I’m angry, I know I haven’t been a saint but…” He trails off noticing the skies have darkened significantly, “I’m not the only one who’s had issues - with Bruce mostly. I don’t know, I’m tired, I just want it to stop.”

And fuck does that feel like a weight lifted, it’s all stuff they both know, but there’s something about saying it out loud that makes it all the more damning. Jason curls into Kyle when he finishes, unable to prevent the shuddering breath or shake of his hands as his boyfriends loops his arms around him and offers him soft reassurances, ones that would be meaningless out of the mouth of anyone else.

“C’mon.” Kyle says after a while when the sky is too dark to see the clouds. “Let’s go to my place, we can get takeout and the others want to call, if that’s alright. They’re worried.”

Jason supposes it says something about him that hearing that comforts him slightly, though he isn’t sure what.

“Yeah.” Jason murmurs, kissing Kyle again. “That sounds good.” And then he’s being pulled up and twirled around by the ridiculous man he loves before they take off into space.

* * *

Sometime between eating takeout and organising a group face call, they end up lounging about on the couch. It’s lazy, simple, almost mindless, Jason doesn’t need to think about the Bats or Justice League or Guardians. He doesn’t need to think about anything and it’s nice a sort of scarily comfortable feeling he exists in often around Kyle.

It’s New York so it can never be truly calm and quiet, the city never sleeps and nor does it try to, but there’s this eerie bottomless peace he feels being curled up with the man he loves, cars and people are planes nothing but muffled hums from outside. It fills him with some swooping form of nostalgia, reminding him of days with the Outlaws in a cold safehouse and nothing to talk about but their feelings, of sitting on the carpet in one of Talia’s fancy apartments, bandages wrapped around him as he tries to meditate.

Kyle shifts in front of him, drowning slightly in a hoodie Jason had no idea he stole as he turns to face him.

“You good?” There’s no need to whisper but he does so anyway.

“Yeah. Better. Thanks.”

“No need to apologise.” Comes the reply, punctuated with a kiss to his wrist. The ‘I’d do it again one hundred times for you’ goes unsaid but Jason still catches it.

“Hey.” Kyle says again, considering.

“Yeah?”

“Who do you consider family then? If not the Bats. I know Talia is basically your mom but is there anyone else?” Well that’s not what he expected to hear.

“Uh, the Outlaws, I guess. And yeah, Talia too.” He stops, chewing on the inside. “And you guys, the Lanterns, if that’s alright.”

Kyle grins suddenly, widely and then snorts, dragging Jason down to kiss him deeply, some sort of fond amusement detectable in his expression. Jason kisses back easily, openly, until Kyle breaks the kiss and smile, tangling their fingers.

“You should tell the guys that when we’re on call.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“They’ll probably start crying,” Kyle shrugs, “Guy and Hal at least. It’ll be funny.”

Jason just frowns, still a little confused and Kyle laughs softly, kissing his cheek.

“You’re family to them too, dumbo. You know they care.”

Yeah, on some level he knows that - between all the hugs and hair ruffles and shoulder bumps and exited conversation it would be hard not to notice. But being reminded about it somehow makes it slightly more real, lifts his mood a little more as he huffs at Kyle and curls his hands around his waist, using a construct to grab his phone from the counter.

“I love you,” He says, kissing the back of Kyle’s neck.

“I love you too.” Kyle replies easily, squeezing his hand.

And it’s moments like these that make him realise he’s moved on, or is in the process of moving on, from Bruce and the Bats - there are so many more people that he cares about that care about him and make him feel happier too. He cares for the Bat’s in a way that feels old and foreign and rusted, they’re important to him, but they’re not the most important and they don’t need to be the most important.

He’s weirdly glad about that.

He’s not tied to them, he realises, when seeing Guy’s face pop up way too close to the screen only to be pushed away by Hal before the phone flips and John appears at a reasonable distance watching the other to playfight.

He’s not tied to them and shouldn’t be tied to them. Simon pops up in a different corner making finger guns, Jess’ voice can be heard in the background.

He’s not tied to them and he shouldn’t be tied to them and he can take a break if he’s tired and he’s happy. Kyle leans into him and smiles brilliantly.

He’s still angry, there’s a simmering nervousness and irritation under his skin that, while having diminished massively, is still there, but it’s overshadowed but amusement and laughter and love.

Kyle is right, he’s pretty sure he can see Guy’s eyes glisten slightly as he leans into John, when Jason finds a way to work his feelings about them into an offhanded noncommittal comment. Hal smiles too, though it’s a bit wobbly in the best way, John laughs happily and Jess lets out a soft gasp while Simon grins widely.

He’s happy and content and he’s allowed to be content and for maybe one of the first few times in his life, he doesn’t go to sleep after an argument with bubbling, consuming anger trapped inside of him.

**Author's Note:**

> and that's a wrap! hope you guys liked it :) that's all the prompts i should be doing, back to regularly scheduled content now :)  
> check me out on tumblr, [starboysdcdumspter](https://starboysdcdumpster.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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